Cedars#2

 More photos from the day I spent on my grandfather's land. I just love this place so much. There are sheep and goats, border collie puppies and old horses, and of course a great expanse of trees and nature. Its beautiful and quite sad at the same time but for very complicated reasons. So this is where I am from- my home.

Cedars

The leaves on the cedar trees by the lake have made their descent, creating a strange contrast considering the autumn heat. I took a slew of photographs exploring the grounds but these are all I have for today.

Recently, I've become frustrated with my lack of subject matter. Using myself as a model just feels vain and superficial, and I promise you that this is not the case. Its best, I guess, if I viewed this issue as a conundrum worth overcoming but its been difficult. I would love to scout models or use friends but I tend to totally separate these two aspects of my life from each other. I'm also just to shy and timid to have the courage to ask someone I found interesting if I could photograph them. So I guess I need to work on overcoming that.  That being said, I do find photographing myself to be somewhat rewording, in just the fact that I have complete control of all expression and emotion I wish to emit out of the image.

My boy sent this to me in a text the other day and it seems to describe perfecting the way i feel today. It just makes me miss him all the more,

"Blue skies pull us into their oblivion. The clouds sit in quiet disposition keeping our feet amongst the ground and giving us something to do."

Creature Fear#2

"Don't let it form us, the creature fear."

Right Behind You

A self portrait. I am a silly sort of girl.

Brandon Flowers - Right Behind You

Its raining today and the humidity is back so I really wish I could just stay in bed today. Recently, I have had many different songs in my head and this is the most recent. It reminds me a lot of my younger sister, but I'm not sure why. 

Anyway, I'm flying to Philadelphia on Sunday to visit with my boy, his family, and a few friends.  I just want this week to fly by!

La Soeur

A chill possessed my home over this past week and for a moment relief has come from the never ending heat. With such wonderfully dreary weather we explored part of the swamps near where my dear friend and I live. I wanted to tread the water but with a murky bottom and a large amount of poisons creatures that inhabit the area, my intuition told me better.

As a young girl, I used to explore this area bare foot and lightly clothed, I remember walking through the thick underbrush and nearly stepping on a baby cottonmouth snake. It was then (ofcourse) that I realized the value in shoes. The strange part about this experience was the length of time I let my bare toes hover above the deadly serpent just watching the thing in wonder- I think I just found death so fascinating. I couldn't have been more than eight and yet the memory is vivid.

Anyway, this is what is in my head.

おやすみ

Nothing of substance in these words, I'm just going to bed tonight.  Oyasumi/Good Night!

And The Gusts Of Wind Seemed To Carry On Their Singing

It seems fitting that I represent my yearning for northern weather with an artificial world. A beautiful winterey scene captured behind tempered glass- frozen, in an effort to confront gazing eyes and runny noises with an interpretation of a natural habitat. I remember snapping this diorama at the Academy last year during a particularly fierce snow storm. I trekked across the bridge into the city with a tripod on my shoulder and a camera on my back. It had been cold and I fell twice due to juvenile, southern, feet not used to the slippery ice. But I was strangely fascinated and in love with the all encompassing snow- its just that beautiful- even when mimicked in an old museum.

Good Morning World

At this moment I love freckles, sleepy headed boys, and warm morning light more than anything in the world.
Oh and my favorite band in the world (The Decemberists) are coming out with a new album in January. I fell into a deep love affair with them as a teenager with their album,  Her Majesty The Decemberists and they became my gateway to many of my musical loves like Jesus And Mary Chain, Morrissey, The Shins, and The Thermals. I am beyond excited for this!

 

Louisiana, Come Go Away With Me

While Jeff was here we spent an evening at my aunts lake house. The weather has been beautiful here in the south, with fall now in full swing. :) The wind was crisp and the leaves were falling so I finally had a chance to wear my new faux fur muffler. It was so much fun! We also took a day trip to New Orleans, one of our favorite places in the world, and although we lost ourselves for a moment on Lake Pontchartrain we had a wonderful time. As we crossed the Mississippi/Louisiana border we sang this song at the top of our lungs and smiled the entire way- so in the end I guess I had a lovely weekend. :)

Oh and Kate of Cream Coloured Ponies posted a few of my images the other day on her blog and I just find her the sweetest! 

Born On The Sixth Of November

 

 My sweet sullen faced boy is finally here and he is by far the best birthday present I could have received! Tomorrow we are off to New Orleans for Birthday celebrations and French Quarter fun! :)

Maiden No More

"She looked upon herself as a figure of Guilt intruding into the haunts of Innocence. But all the while she was making a distinction where there was no difference. Feeling herself in antagonism she was quite in accord. She had been made to break a necessary social law, but no law known to the environment in which she fancied herself such an anomaly."- Tess Of The D'urbervilles, Thomas Hardy. 

I have been reading this novel over the past week and I must say that I am smitten by both Tess and the writing of Hardy.  His works seem to always carry a richly dark and sexual undertone which given the time period is quite radical. I have strangely found a kindred spirit in his writing.  I loved his Jude in Jude the Obscure for his tragedy and I love him more for Tess because of his fearlessness ,femininity, and vagrant sexuality entwined closely to the destruction of the traditional due to modernity. But it may be that I'm just a romantic in the literary sense.

I'm working every day this week and although I'm grateful for the distraction, I fear I will be exhausted from the mediocrity- standard mall retail jobs are a necessary evil. I did manage however to snap a few photos the other morning before work. And with my birthday coming up this Saturday I have so much to look forward to. November 6th is such a nice day to be born!