I wish for so much to believe that I am beautiful. It is a hard thing to have, my none existent self-esteem. I know that I am a pretty girl, maybe even beautiful, practically I know this. I have just never been able to really believe it. I've never had a weight problem, and at five feet I know that I am petite and cute young woman. Yet, I cannot believe that I am truly beautiful. I think this stems back to my childhood, my absent father, and the cruelty of other children.
Add the fact that I have always had trouble with trusting the opposite sex and I was never very receptive to the advances of the boys in my classes. I knew they liked me, I new they were interested, but I always felt repulsed by their attention, it felt disgusting.
This topic has always been a difficult one to approach. But the only way to truly come to terms with my fears are to face them. I wish I understood the psychology behind my adherence to my appearance. Growing up, I would purposely make myself less noticeable. I wore baggy clothes, and I always kept my hair in a ponytail. I kept to myself too; like I was afraid to be seen.
It has only been in the last few years that I have been able to shed my insecurities and let myself feel confident in who I am. I want to be the kind of woman who isn't afraid to be completely herself. I want to be beautiful for myself and for the ones I care for the most. I'm dreaming of the possibilities.
2 comments:
I really liked reading this post. In the way you write, I could see that you are beautiful. & congratulations on your one year anniversary!I hope you had an amazing day :D xxx
Thank you, you are truly very kind.
And it was an amazing day! We had a lot of fun! :))
Post a Comment