The Bagman's Gambit.

"You know that you could never see someone fall into a black hole. Because the image of the traveler who passes the horizon would slow down till it would remain in the same position. The state he was when he crossed the line."

 

The German philosopher Georg Hegel’s metaphysical ideas of the universe and the aesthetic experience  is a favorite ideology of mine. Art in the stages of Giest, or the absolute spirit, are the sensual representation of the divine; it is the eventual self-consciousness in form. This is because consciousness is a natural phenomenon, as is self-consciousness or the awareness of oneself, in form. This will only be reached when the universe (i.e. God) realizes it exists. This self-consciousness is the highest richest of forms, and this is the end of all process. Things will cease. “Art belongs, with religion and philosophy, to the realm of ‘Absolute Spirit’, since it is through these three activities, in that order, that Geist or God- and we humans, its ‘vehicles- eventually arrives at rational, ‘self-conscious freedom at peace with itself’.”

How wonderful is that? I can only imagine how incredible it would be for the universe to realize its own worth, its own existence. How transcending life would feel.

I want to be aware of myself. I want to see more than anything the inherent beauty that I know must exist. I cannot understand why I find myself lacking but I am disgusted by this weakness. I am incredibly intelligent, beautiful, and worldly. I am one of the best artists in my class, and I always have been. It was never just how I conceptualize my thought into art, but also my technique, that I see my true ability. I am tired of doubting my worth. Here I am, this is my life. I’ve traveled around the world, I’ve sacrificed everything in order to achieve my highest goal, and I have always been entirely successful. But above all I am loved. Being away from him is hard, its entirely too hard, but it is required if I ever hope to regain my self-reliance.

Snapshots of my life. :)