In a strange and pensive mood tonight.
I've come to realize that I have absolutely no control over anything. I feel as though I am a bystander watching my life from many different perspectives . I have to admit that I am scared, so scared. I want for nothing more than to hold on and never let go. I imagine my grip being so tight ,my knuckles are clinched and white, grasping at my fears. I know I shouldn't do that, and in the end it is only trust that I can rely on. The problem is the hurt I have felt in the past. Trusting someone to love you, and be with you, is quite possibly the hardest thing I can imagine. Is it possible for a girl like me, someone who has been forced to deal with abandonment so much in her life? I really can't say.
All I can do is look for my blue sky. His smile really does make the world beautiful.
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